Ever heard those words? Ever said those words? Ever wanted to say them but held your tongue?
Let’s be honest. Sometimes we just don’t feel like it. Whatever “it” is.
As a trauma survivor with ADHD, I know how much harder things feel now than they ever felt before. For me, it’s adulting. Sometimes I just downright don’t feel like adulting.
You know.. washing dishes, folding clothes, cleaning floors, parenting, cooking, working, making phone calls. Sometimes adulting is the very last thing I want to do. Sometimes the very thought of getting out of bed and getting the day started feels like a task more daunting than climbing a mountain.
What’s crazy is I’m an early bird busy-body. I love waking up early and getting stuff done. I love accomplishing goals and making things happen. For some reason, however, there are times that catch up to me that I just don’t have it in me and I wish the world would just stop long enough for me to catch my breath and restart. That’s not reality, though.
So what do you do when you don’t “feel like it?”
It’s easier said than done, but you have to have a mindset change. It’s not enough to “just do it anyway.” That’s not good enough, because then you’re just “doing it” in spite. Resentment rises and it just ends up being more of a mess.
It takes making the decision to do it, and then making very precise steps to overcome the resentment, lack of motivation, and lack of energy.
Step 1: Make the decision
Until you actually decide to go through the process because you know it’s important, you’re going to stay in the same state of mind and get nothing done. So the first step is actually making the decision to do something about it.
Step 2: Attitude of gratitude
It’s not about the things that you “have” to to do, or even what you “need” to do. As long as you’re thinking that everything is an obligation, you are setting yourself up for growing resentment and spitefulness. Every moment, every breath, every firing of your nerves – they are all gifts. Every ability you have is a gift. Not everyone has a home to clean or the tools to clean it. Not everyone has laundry to tend to – some have what’s on their backs and that’s it. Not everyone has a job, or children, or a spouse to give attention to. Everything in your life is an opportunity and a gift. When you shift your focus from “I have to do all these things” to “I get to” change begins to take place. It’s now a choice, and it’s coming from a place of gratitude. It’s much easier to do something you’re thankful for.
Step 3: Here and now, one bite at a time
Focusing on the end goal and completion when you are feeling overwhelmed is like a bullet to the foot. It’s going to slow you down even more. When overwhelm is seeping in and you are struggling just to start your day, thinking of all the things you “get” to accomplish and focusing on everything at once is counterproductive. Some people are list people and you may need to make a to do list to stay organized – and that’s great. If that’s you, then go ahead and make your list if it helps, but then when you begin your list, focus on one step at a time. You are not at the end of the day – you are here right now doing this moment in time. Do what you’re able right this second. And the next. And the next. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. (Not that you’d be eating any elephants… but you get the idea). Stay moment by moment and you will overcome the feeling of overwhelm.
Step 4: Have fun
It’s hard to be resentful and overwhelmed when you’re having fun. Pull your shoulders back and lift your chin – then play music, smile, dance, make fun of yourself, skip around, turn laundry into basketball, sing – whatever you have to do. Make it fun. If you’ve followed the previous steps, this shouldn’t be as hard as you think. You’ll notice your energy increasing, your attitude lightening, and your mood lifting. That’s because you are changing your chemistry and physiology. It’s science.
You’ve got a beautiful life to live, no matter what’s going on in it. Let’s not waste it on complaining and griping – let’s change the energy of the world starting with you. You can make it happen – if you want to!