It can be hard to love ourselves when we are in the throws of challenges that mess with our emotional and mental health, but I want to start by saying you are worth something so magnificent that no words could put a label on it. I know that to be true because God said you were beautifully and wonderfully made.
So many of us, though, tend to throw ourselves under the bus and talk about and to ourselves in ways we would never allow anyone to talk to our loved ones. You stay in a toxic relationship with someone treating you worse than the crap on their shoe because you think you deserve it, or can’t bear the thought of “hurting” them. You feel so lost and lonely that you eat in ways that you KNOW are self-destructive. You don’t even like looking at yourself in the mirror because you don’t even recognize your reflection. You’ve abandoned yourself because you have no idea why you should even bother caring. For some, you feel like your worth is in the amount of submission you give to your husband or the amount of sacrifice you give to your wife. You let your kids run all over you because their “happiness” is more important than your boundaries. You’re a people-pleaser and the thought of someone being unhappy with you or feeling like you’ve fallen short on serving someone else devastates you. You don’t feel like you’re worth it to practice any form of self-care or self-preservation because “that’s selfish.” You feel… pretty much worthless …. Am I right?
Friend, these things do NOT define your worth.
Trust me, I know exactly what you’re feeling because I was there. I felt it. I was drowning in it – dying…. AND… I overcame it.
Let me ask you.. do you really know who you are? Not your name, title, or who your family is.. I mean YOU. What your purpose is – why are you here? Why would God give you the life he’s given you and everything you’ve been through? Do you ever ask yourself, “What on Earth is He supposed to do with this mess?” Or have you ever even thought about it?
I was so run down and beaten from super-submission and self-sacrifice that I had no idea who I was. But I wanted me back.. I could vaguely remember a time when I had dreams and thought I knew myself – yet at the same time I never REALLY got to know me because I gave myself up to everyone else so early in life. People tried to tell me “Don’t rush life – you need to know who you are.” I heard what they said, but I thought they were a little bit off for saying that to me, not knowing what I knew about myself which at the time, I thought was a lot. BOY was I wrong! How right they were!
If you’ve ever heard these words – stay with me.. Let me explain what they mean.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.Psalm 139:13-16
Do you see what I see? God knew what He was doing – “all the days ordained for me were written in your book.” — Yes. He knows you and what you’re meant to do. I want you to consider one more passage – “…Do not consider anything unclean that God has declared clean.” (Acts 11:9) This passage specifically refers to clean and unclean foods but I want you to consider the MEANING behind it. God has DECLARED.. do not challenge Him. He says you’re worth His time and space on this Earth. He has declared a purpose for your life and we have no right to declare worthless what He has declared OF worth!
The words “You need to know who you are” ultimately mean “You need to know who God has designed you to be, and find out all those wonderful things He put in you to make you YOU. — Because you deserve you. Don’t get distracted by what others want from you.”
But somewhere along the way, I’m willing to bet you found someone or something that you felt was worth more than you, so you forgot all about yourself in the name of “selflessness” and they took advantage of that, and you lost yourself. It could be your boyfriend, spouse, a boss, a job (even a volunteer position), a parent or a child, a friend – the list is long of reasons we throw away our importance…
But here’s the thing… You deserve the life God designed for you – not the one someone or something else thinks you should have. Your worth is so priceless.
Once you find yourself through enforcing boundaries, learning to be mindful of every moment, and overcoming fears and anxieties, your entire world opens up – a veil is lifted and you begin to see the beauty that God put in you. It takes a lot of work, and there is turbulence along the way, but honestly, this makes the journey that much more worth it. When you finally can look in the mirror and LOVE what you see — no matter the image looking back at you — you feel a power that you’ve never felt before. A strength that rises up and you’ll never let it go!
I want you to know your worth… but do you? Have you lost yourself?
If you’d like to talk about this more and you’re ready to explore finding yourself, go ahead and schedule a free discovery call and let’s see if we can’t get you back on the track God’s calling you to! I promise you, you’re worth it!
Just remember – Deep Breaths! You’ve got this 🙂