Ever talk to yourself? I mean really talk to yourself. You’re standing in front of the mirror, you lock eyes with yourself, and think about that mistake you made in the past.  You think of all the ways you could have done things differently.  You think of everything that went wrong.  You picture what it would like if you hadn’t made the mistake.  You look yourself square in the eyes and open your mouth to speak — what comes next sets the tone for the rest of the day.  You can either tell yourself what a failure you are, how stupid you are, and what a screw up you are, or you can talk yourself up and give yourself grace, appreciating everything you learned from your past mistake.  What’s it going to be?

Being kind to ourselves can be so hard sometimes. However, we have to learn to do it. For some people, it’s very easy to be kind to others, but then when it comes to ourselves we say things we wouldn’t dream of saying to another human being. Why is that??

Perhaps it’s because we are repeating lies we’ve heard. Maybe we’ve been told we are those things, so we don’t know what else to say. Our self-worth has been completely depleted and there is nothing positive to say. It’s hard to look ourselves in the mirror and say “You are awesome” when all you’ve been told is “You’re not good enough.” Or maybe you’ve been told “You’re great” but the person’s actions say otherwise, when they do everything better than you and brag about. Or they question your every decision.

Learning to be kind to yourself takes practice.

This is your journey –  Let’s set the tone for the next chapter and start with lifting yourself up the way you’d like someone else to lift you up! Practice these phrases using the tips and tricks – do this every single day! You’d be amazed at how your confidence and self-esteem can improve when you cease the negativity and increase the positivity in your life!

  1. POST – IT!
    • Write positive phrases on post-it notes and place them in places you are forced to look every single day! Your mirror, your refrigerator DOOR HANDLE, your dashboard, the door you come in and out of every day, your work monitor, your lamp by your bed. Use bright colorful paper and switch them out often so that you don’t become desensitized to seeing them! When you see the phrases, read it out loud. You may not believe it at first, but there is power in the audible word!
  2. Phone Reminders!
    • Set reminders on your phone to pop up periodically throughout the day. You can use your build-in calendar, the reminder’s app, or you can download an app. Set the reminders to say things that build you up, encourage you, or make you smile. You can use quotes from inspiring messages, something that someone has said to you that you don’t want to forget, or your own words!
  3. Dialogue Rehearsals
    • Don’t knock it til you try it! Write down on index cards a message to yourself. Write down a message that you wish someone would talk to you about, that tells you how awesome you are. Then stand in front of the mirror and talk to yourself like you are that other person. It’s a little awkward at first – but this shifts your brain when you see yourself and talk to yourself. You probably did it with negative words – so try it with positive words now!

So.. what do you say? Here are some starters

  • “You are a warrior”
  • “You’re beautiful”
  • “I love you”
  • “You’re enough”
  • “You are so strong”
  • “Your heart is so big and so kind. People love you.”
  • “You’re good at what you do”
  • “You’re a great mom”
  • “God loves you so much”
  • “Your worth is more than rubies”
  • “You make people happy. Your make people smile.”
  • “You can do this.”
  • “You’ve got this!”

One more thing. Go pull out a piece of paper and write down 12 things that you love about yourself ! It can be anything from how creative you are, your hair color, how easily you tan, how great of a dancer you are, how giving you are, what a great hunter you are or how you love how you feel when you’re outdoors – anything! Read over that list of things you love about yourself EVERY DAY! And learn to LOVE YOURSELF.